Saturday, 9 August 2014

good girl :)

‎ ‎ Looks like a compliment from your school time or something,oh dear you scored well,you are a good gal...oh you helped me with this and that,you are a good gal...I feel like we Indian gals are so burdened with behaving like the good gal (my face has deadly expression). I mean I do not know about others but I guess all my life(till now,and there is no possibility it's gonna change for say,rest of my life) have lived with two mindsets- I am a gal,that doesn't mean I am any less than the other breed of us homosapiens. I can compete with these men in every field.And the second- oh! I should stay in limit, I am a gal.‎ Seriously I spent my school life trying to study hard...and college life hiding in that small group of friends, i mean I love my friends,i surely do but I wish I had some real fun. :(.I don't know if I attract my carbon copies as friends(which is a good thing) or they just act like me when we are friends... but we kinda live in this bubble. we love to laugh out loud,but make sure it's not that know its not ladylike. we would love to go on nightouts, but ah..we need the right company, and by that I mean our family ;( yes I am almost sobbing... I see people planning trips and going on them...and all mine are in my mind being planned... ‎ But then sometimes I wonder what would my life have been if I have lived it my way...doing things that please me. looks so great it my head. for starters I wouldn't have ended up as an me that is or was way out of my league. I still remember when I was in second year in btech, I used to tell my friends...I am gonna quit. I hated every bit of it. Thankfully my work is somewhat of my interest but four years of total rubbish,those awkward subjects and those teachers...was it worth it :o May be I would have been a sketch artist,seriously if our world was safe for us gals, I would have become I don't need a studio or something...I would have loved to have a paper and a pen and draw random people doing random stuff...and money... Not that I didn't need it, but a small quantity would have made wonders for me  I would have saved,saved money to buy a place in some hilly area,somewhere near a river or something...nah not somewhere abroad, india has enough to offer me for now. I Would have made so may friends,all types, I would have roamed around the city with them...played cricket in the that would have been lovely. gone partying ‎ Sometimes I realize that our demands,our wishes are what we expect in return of our sacrifices we did to keep up with this world (this line made more sense in my head) I don't want to be a hippie, I wouldn't have mind being one,but trust me I am too sophisticated for that ;p who am I kidding,,,that would have been wonderful. But I would have said no to drugs,not because that is a bad habbit(remember I am not trying to be a good gal) but because my life would have given me a high by itself, I am sure I wouldn't need some herbs to make me feel cloudy...(finally watching breaking bad is paying,atleast I know what being high looks like)  I already miss that me :o For now all I need is the one who will help me become that me. there is so much I have planned to do...places we have to visit, kinda parties I want to attend... and nightouts yesssss.... I would just like to stay awake till 2 am watching some vampire series and then to take my bike(our) and we go for a Sometimes I wonder why do I need someone to walk with me... can't I walk people say we came in this world alone and we will leave alone... Yes we did,and we will do but I would like to share this in-between time with someone... So trust me I have been a good gal for so long, it's time for you to show up :p‎ 

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Well its never easy, but see here i am. I have been away from my blog for so long, can't really remember when i actually wrote 2 posts...