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Let me breathe freely, the least I want...

Prologue: Sneha, A sweet innocent girl, who has recently joined a college for fulfilling her set of limited dreams...

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I entered home...my mom was in kitchen...
She called my name...but today for the first time in my life, i ignored her..i went directly in my room, bolting the door...i didn't have any courage left..tears started falling from my eyes...
I wanted to shout...i wanted to cry...but the only thing i could manage was a sob.
My father knocked on the door...i washed my face and opened the door.
Papa- 'why are you crying baby?, Its okay...you are at home...you are safe'. My sobs turned into cry.. mumma came in...she hugged me tightly...and said...'bacha you should have told us'

Only thing i could manage was a silent node in between my cries.

I can't even remember how long i have held these tears...so many days...weeks...months. It really appeared as an age.

The very first day in my new college...ragging period was still on...and it was totally fine...untill he came in my way...

I was late for my lecture...and suddenly a guy came in front of me...i was shocked...we almost collapsed.. I said sorry...but he just smiled and left..after the lecture when i was going to library...the same thing happened...this time i felt so weird and uncomfortable...but there was no crease on his forehead. It seemed that the guy is clear with his courses, although in the first place I made up my mind too- 'I hate this guy'

I ignored him...i stayed in groups all the time...
And then one day...after exam when i was leaving for home...my brother was coming to pick me up...i was talking to him...when suddenly someone held my hand...and turned me forcefully... With shocked eyes i saw him standing right in front of me.
He said'sneha,i am karan. And i like you. Give me your phone number'

Suddenly a lecturer was passing from there...and he left my hand. I ran...next day i got a call from him... And i was shocked...and then messages...i ignored and ignored...finally i changed my number. But the college drama was still on.
I didn't know what to do... I hate the guy...the way he said he likes me...as if i am just an asset he wanna have...and according to him...he will have.

Well i have many options... I can complaint to the college authorities, can inform my parents, my brother...but i didn't because my friend pooja told me that karan is the son of some politician. And i can't do anything...she told me to stay away from his way...until he got interested in someone new.
I stayed at home for a week ... I hated college... And then last week i got a call ...it was from him...he asked me why i am not attending college. I disconnected...and there was a queue of messages. 'he wanted to see me,talk to me'. I was scared and so angry...i was frustrated with his daily torture...i picked his call yesterday... he asked me to come to college the next day..and i did.

I entered college gate sharp at 9...and as expected he was waiting for me outside my class...
He asked me to go with him to cafeteria...i said no...say whatever you want to...i am listening.he forced...but i was like a stone now.
Finally he said-he likes me...and want to go out with me. And i said- why?

He said-because i like you.
I said-so?
He said- i like you...and you will be my girlfriend.
I said- but i don't like you...so its a clear no. And now don't make my life a torture.
( i was afraid...thinking about the acid  attacks and murders...i was half dead)
.he was turning into a zombie now...he was shouting-what do you think of yourself...who are you...
I said- i am just an average girl...trying to live my life...hiding my dreams behind these books,trying to be happy with the way i have to live...the way i have to dress...so that the guys don't look at us...as if doing an X-ray.trying not to laugh aloud...just to stay unnoticed...facing people like you each day...bearing this torture...when only thing i wanted to do is to slap right in your face...but i don't because i don't know who you are...i know you can hurt me...and my family...but the last thing i could ever want is the threat on my family... So i chose the path you showed...you took my words,my voice... Atleast let me breathe now.

And suddenly my teacher came...he asked him to leave...and called my father..and i ran...

And now sitting here in my mother's arms...she is trying to console me...

Wiping my tears...i said-papa please...i want to study please papa...it won't happen again...please.
Papa-you are not going anywhere now...stay at home. Your brother will go with you for your finals.

And i just went for a shower...and when after an hour i came to the living room...we all know...nothing happened.

Life,sometimes, has its own ways for everything.

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Something new....

Aaah.... Guess what today i thought about several things that i want to share with you people... But i realized this needs a break...

There must be something worth writing... ;p

Was reading a novel-
In between some arguement
And the hero asks heroine- what do you want me to do?

Her reply- "i don't know".


And i wasn't able to stop myself.... I was laughing out aloud....
Truely said-how could a guy understand what his girl wants..when she herself has got no idea....
Funny but true..
Well if some guy writes this on his facebook wall...i will be so-so angry... I may even shout....what the hell these guys think...

Hehe
But i know its true...i mean...we girls always know what the other person expects... What we should do...

But we are seldomly sure about what we want...
;) may be because...since early days of our lives....we keep everyone else before us....so have lost contact with ourselves...
;)

Love,jags

just a thought...

I guess the best thing i learned till today...is that - if you feel bad...you have a war going on inside your head, you are not sure about the next step you will take...or where your life is going...where you will be , the very next day...or a week later or what you will do...So what if sometimes you feel that things are wrong...nothing is working out the way you suggested... still you will be fine...You will live by all this... many-many similar days are waiting for you...Big dreams and even bigger problems are being positioned by the almighty , just to add a little adventure...But you will live ...It will all be fine in the end...
Just be yourself...and see how beautiful a person you are... Just smile...may be just to practice it...
Because even if...today your smile is a little tired and sad...tomorrow it will be happy...real and satisfying... Life is not about a moment...or a day...or a week...not even a year... Its about the whole...its about you... :)

Count your blessings

"If material things are what you are talking about when you say i am blessed, You have no idea what a blessing is. "
Yes, its weird coming from a shopaholic like me :) but isn't it correct. We all or I must say- most of us have what we need to live our lives. Its just that we want more, something more and that list never ends.
We get something we wanted , and we develop a liking for something else. Its good to have your thoughts in sync, to move ahead, to wish and make your own wishes come true. But there is no way, those wishes can define your happiness.

One thing I learned from observing people is that we wish for these material things and act crazy for them when we believe there is something missing in the life. Something more meaningful, something you believe you should have got as a right or something you really deserve. It could be being alone, losing someone, not having that dream job, just anything.  And we use these material things to just fill in those gaps. To…